I was less nervous about the pain than the implications of having a tattoo. I used toānot really despise butāsnubĀ the idea of myself getting tattoos. I canāt really explain the reason; itās not the prison/gangĀ stereotype that many people had. I guess I wanted to stay āpureā and untainted and cute, LOL. Also, I was concerned about practical consequences such as reduced work opportunities and not being able to donate blood (although Iāve never even tried that).
Tattoo is also a permanent thing (unless itās a henna tattoo from Boracay). And Iām very wary of such commitments, just like marriage and kids. Itās not something you can easily reverse and erase. So you have to think about it really carefully. Otherwise, regret will also be permanent.
So, why suddenly did I decide to get a tattoo? First of all, I think theyāre a really nice form of expression andĀ aĀ reminder of something very important. They carry a lot of meaning. When you look at the mirror and see that tattoo, youāll get butterflies (like I do now). Youāll remember your purpose, a precious memory, a past pain, or just the meaning of being.Ā Your tattoo represents you.
My first tattoo also signifies change, like Iām shedding old skin and a new person with a fresh slate emerges. (It sounds simple as I write it, but itās a process and it starts now.) This is me acknowledging change and refusing complacency. This is me forging bravely forward to a new phase.
I chose fall leaves first of all for the simplest reason that autumn is my favorite season. More than that, autumn is the backdrop of the most precious travel memories I have, most especially Jeju. Itās always Jeju Iāll be thinking of. The time I hiked through foliage of orange, red, and gold. The moment I fell in love. My vow to return.
Going deeper, autumn leaves resonate well with my embrace of change. I adore how beautiful trees transition into a new phaseāthey donāt simply shed their old leaves, no. They shed it beautifullyĀ and make a great show of it. And people are frozenĀ in wonder, spellbound, witnessing this very meaningfulĀ event. I want to change like that. I want to change gracefully and for people around meāfriends, family, fleeting acquaintancesāI alsoĀ want to fill them with awe as they watch me transform, as they watch me grow, as they watch me march forward.
Iāve undergone a lot of changes in my life,Ā of course,Ā but this is by far the most significant for me. Just like with tattoos, the thirties wasĀ an age I dreaded.Ā It feels weird to be thirty now. It feels just like yesterday that I was being carefree and stupid in my teens as if I was gonna be young forever. There were always adults around to tolerate my stupidity and guide me forgivingly. Now, Iām one of them and at this age, there are new expectations. But I will always be in the middle of being a kid and being a fully formed adultālike autumn swaying between the warmth of summer and the chill of winter. I will always carry that sense of adventure, curiosity, and childish humor. At the same time, I’ll be treading the earth with greater responsibility and awareness.
Although my short answer to friends asking why autumn leaves is always “it’s my favorite season,” there’s a whole lot of meaning contained in my first tattoo. On the outside, it may seem to be largely cosmetic especially to the eyes of other people. But this tattoo serves a good purpose for me; always a reminder that I’ve had good days to remember and always better days to look forward to.
My most beautiful autumn experiences:Ā
Hiking at Hallasan, Jeju, South Korea
Leisurely hike around Songaksan, Jeju, South Korea
Onsen & quaint community at Hida Takayama, Japan
Daybook by Rei 