My posting schedule—if you can call it a schedule—has been pretty much erratic. Months would pass by without a blog entry, and then a month or two with a couple of passionate blogs before idling back into inactivity.
I really wanted to be a writer, a blogger. It’s just so hard to keep a schedule, especially when your day job already uses up your writing prowess that when you return to your personal laptop, there’s not enough energy left to unleash the thoughts in your mind rumbling to be laid into organized sentences and paragraphs.
I started this personal blog to record coffee and travel memories and musings during my twenties. I started this blog anonymously, without disclosing my name, because I did not want to be conscious of people who actually know me reading my deepest thoughts, I did not want to be restrained by feelings of awkwardness and shyness. But I began to share my blog just a little bit. I did not promote it upfront, I just left a link to my blog on my Instagram bio, which allows anyone from my friends—if they ever get interested—to see this side of me.
But mainly, this blog is for myself. I am a sentimental person, and I like to keep a record of the most significant thoughts and events in my life, so I could look back, no matter how cringy the past may be. Perhaps, this is also for the one who cares (even though he’s practically non-existent today). I imagine, someday, there will be a person who would care so much about me and my feelings that he would stumble upon this site, which serves as my open journal, and actually read the things I wrote so that he could maybe understand my thoughts and feelings that I have trouble expressing in person.
Anyway, on top of everything else, this blog is for myself.
I’m nearing the end of my twenty-something life, and I feel like I have not given this much effort as I planned. So, I want to wrap 2018 up and resolve to do better for myself not only in this aspect but also in many other things in 2019.
I was not able to do a wrap-up of the previous year, so let me touch on it quickly here. 2017 had also been a good year. It was a year of transition—I summoned up the courage to leave a job that served as a comfort zone to pursue my dream, a career that I felt was the most suited for me. And I reaped the rewards for taking that courage. Early in 2018, not even a year into the new job, I was promoted to being the managing editor of our magazine.
2017 also served as a beautiful preamble to a better year ahead. In 2017, I worked smart—so in 2018, I got a promotion. In 2017, I began to see the importance and the beauty of self-love—so before the year ended, I booked my first solo overseas trip for 2018. And so, in 2018, I loved myself more.
Self-love is the word of the year for 2018.
Although, I know, I could have loved myself better—
I could have read more books and fed my brain more with good stuff…
I could have indulged my tummy cravings less… (so I could be more fit and healthier)
I could have forced myself to go out and work out…
I could have given myself more time to write…
—I still loved myself well, better than I ever did before.
I did not deprive myself of happy things… (coffee, food, travel)
I worked hard so I could deserve the happy things…
I let go of things I could not shoulder…
I cried less and worried less about things I cannot control…
Most importantly, I let myself go and travel to farther places—I went on my first solo overseas trip! I went to Seoul in September, and it was hugely invigorating and empowering—any kind of solo travel to a completely foreign place can do that. I’ll talk about it more in another blog entry, but other than Seoul, I also had the chance to tour around Tokyo (in July) and Central Japan (in December)—which, again, I will tackle more in separate travel entries. Perks of the job! ♡
Looking at my 2018 bucket list, admittedly, there are a lot of things I could not accomplish, either by overlooking, forgetting, or sheer neglect, but I did accomplish a lot of awesome stuff. And I am happy. ♡
2017 had been really nice, 2018 had been GREAT, and 2019 is going to be a lot more awesome!
For 2019, I will keep loving myself—more and MORE. I will focus only on myself and the people and things that are close to me. I resolve to shun negativity and seek and accept only positivity. I shall not entertain people who will criticize me or the people and things that I love because by rejecting negativity, I can be happier and shine more brightly and spread more positivity to others.
To self, who fought really hard against negativity this year,
I love you.